Sonnystone Acres

On December 20, 1974 I gave birth to an 8lb, 9oz baby girl and named her Melissa Beth.  Her dad, Bill (Beaver) Bass, and I loved her mightily and were amazed at her precocity and charm.  Though we divorced when she was 2 years old, we did our best to show her that the one thing we agreed about was our love for her.  I had sole custody of Melissa, but had plenty of help from the Bass/Hefley clan, without whom I couldn’t have provided the loving environment that shaped her early years.  She danced and sang; played with her imaginary friends (Cindy and Jan);  read her books and generally entertained the many folks who traipsed in and out of our lives.   When she was 5 years old, Mike Casey married us—she was my maid-honor, walking with me down the aisle to our new life as a “real” family.  The following year Mike legally adopted her, making her his daughter and giving her his name, his undying love and devotion.  At age 8, she sang her first solo in church: “May the Good Lord Bless and Keep You”.  I remember holding on to the pew as she went for that last high note and the tears that fell as she nailed it so perfectly (without a mic, of course).  In the 5th grade she sang with the University of Evansville Children’s Choir, the first of many choral groups that marked her career as a singer.  By the time she was in 8th grade she was involved in a group called TKATS (Talented Kids and Teens) and starred and supported in their many musical endeavors throughout her high school years.  She attended Central High School, where she was involved in all things musical, culminating in her leading role in Brigadoon her senior year.  I don’t want to leave out her All-City Choir experience, where she linked up with many people who encouraged her (and still do).  A lady of many talents, she also edited her high school newspaper and seriously considered pursuing journalism in college.  In the end, however, she chose Vocal Music Performance as her major, attending Indiana University School of Music.  While there,she met the Love of Her Life, Eric Jose’.  When Melissa decided (actually with a push from me) to go to NYC to pursue her dreams, Eric and her dad moved her to West New York, NJ and I thought she’d be back in a couple of years to do something practical and logical, like teaching; but I underestimated her determination.  She and Eric were married on October 24, 1999 in a dream-wedding that I still think was one of the most beautiful I’ve ever witnessed (”Can you feel the Love tonight?”). They settled in Manhattan.  In May, 2001, Melissa was diagnosed (not exactly then, but let’s not get into it) with Crohn’s Disease.  This complication, along with the tragedy of 9/11, disrupted her life and sent us all into a spin.  Many treatments and surgeries later, things are better, mostly.  The grace and calm she has shown as she has coped with this horrible condition has been remarkable, and her courage and strength awes and inspires all who know her.  Emma Magnolia, whose life has been well-chronicled by her mother’s beautiful photographs, seems to be a fitting antidote for so many years of suffering.  Today she works as a cantor at St. Joseph Catholic Church; sings at the Episcopal church services in Somers, NY; sings with many NYC choral groups; photographs children; bakes wonderful pies; nurtures her family; faithfully tends to her many friends.  This interview was conducted back in November, 2009, when I was visiting NYC.  I have put off posting it because it is so hard for me to write about Melissa without my emotions getting the better of me.  I have tried to be objective, but anyone who knows us knows that I’m her fiercest fan. 

What is your favorite virtue?  kindness

What is your favorite quality in a man?   a sense of humor, thoughtfulness, intelligence

What is your favorite quality in a woman?   a sense of humor, thoughtfulness, intelligence

What do you consider Your chief characteristic?   sincerity

What do you appreciate most in a friend?   loyalty

What do you consider your main fault?   insecurity

What is your favorite occupation?   muppeteer

What is your idea of happiness?   enough to eat and drink; friends; satisfactions with place; good health; lots of laughter;  not just “enough”, but “something special”..

What is your idea of misery?  loneliness

If not yourself, who would you be?  a cutting-edge avant-garde artist’s artist; an artist’s muse

where would you like to live?   NYC, Cape Cod, or Europe

What is your favorite color?  flower?  bird?  orange/pink;  magnolia/peony;  cardinal

Who is your favorite prose author?   Haruki Murakami;  Alice Walker;  Toni Morrison; Mark Twain

What is your favorite poet?    Mary Oliver; Maya Angelou (also her prose)

Who are your favorite heroes in fiction?  Atticus Finch;  The Little Prince

What is your favorite hero in real life?  my mom

What is your favorite food?  drink?  name?  spaghetti (meal); cherry pie (dessert);  hot coffee with 2 sweets and 2 creams;  emma magnolia;  (currently) carolina

What do you hate most?  injustice

What natural talent (other than those you have) would you like?  to be athletic

What is your present state of mind?  sleepy

Favorite motto:   Do unto others as you would have them do unto you;  It’s all good;  Just breathe. 

crocus, originally uploaded by rightbug?.

what a glorious week-end!! it was slow to warm up saturday morning, but the sunshine beaming through the windows assured me that the weatherman didn’t lie. i spent the morning dusting the newly-exposed dust in the house and by noon was OUTSIDE, cleaning up the garden. the bulbs are bursting from their winter rest, (though the new tulip bulbs i set out last october are still unaccounted for), and the crocus are in full bloom, as you can see. by sunday we could open the windows yayayay!!! i did inventory of the plants who had over-wintered on the back porch and it looks like the thyme, rosemary, and lavendar made it; jury is still out on the lemon verbena, but maybe. average last day of frost around these parts is 4/15, so i can’t get in too much of a hurry, but that doesn’t stop me from dreaming.

13 more days and we’ll be checking in at WDW. i am my own travel agent and the disney folks are the easiest folks to work with. i requested some special accommodations and talking with them is always exciting, seriously. they have always come through for me, too.

this week i am planning to shop, shop, and then buy: sandals, a new hat (i know exactly what i want, but can i find it??), several items for the husband (shopping-impaired), and whatever looks sunny and fun. i don’t usually like clothes-shopping (shows if you see my attire), but for vacations i get inspired.

hope it’s sunny in your town, but if not, here’s a sunny smile comin’ at ya! have a great week!!

Thom is the oldest son of Sonia and Romy Jose’, born August 16, 1972.  He graduated from Brebeuf Jesuit in 1990 and blazed the trail to Indiana University, graduating in 1994 with a Bachelor’s Degree in biochemistry.  He went on to Texas A&M, earning his Masters Degree in chemical education in 2002.  He has worked at Blinn College-Bryan campus since 2003, where he is Co-ordinator of the chemistry program and teaches.  Thom and I bonded during the Casey-Jose’ wedding festivities.  He is a very charming man who shares many of my interests, the most prominent at that time being ciggies; now we share an abiding love for Emma Magnolia.   I was a little awed by his majors and thought he might be a little smarter than me, but I was wrong: he’s a lot smarter–though I did manage a B in biochemistry in college.  He’s also a guy who’s fun to talk to and be with and I was honored when he visited Sonnystone in 2006.  It is especially obvious that we have a lot in common when you see some of his answers to the interview questions.  I swear, Thom, I did not look at your interview before I did my realtime interview last week…we just think alike, darlin’.  I’d love to visit him in College Station, TX someday and have him squire me around.  Sounds dangerous, doesn’t it?   

Age:  37

Bed size:  full

Chore you hate:  cleaning the litter box

Cat’s names:  Suity and Chicklet…I didn’t name them, they came named

Essential “start your day” items:  caffeine and nicotine

Favorite color:  Red

Gold or Silver:  silver

Height:  5′7″

Instrument you play:  piano (out of practice);  my voice (which gets practiced most Thursday nights at karaoke

Job title:  chemistry instructor; program coordinator

Kids:  none…a beautiful niece has been wonderful, though

Living arrangements:  a townhome that I keep for 2 cats

Mom’s name:  Sonia

Nicknames:  Tommy boy

Overnight hospital stay (other than childbirth):  n/a…I’ve never had to go to the hospital for anything

Pet peeves:  folks who text instead of being part of a conversation

Quote from a movie:  “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti” - Silence of the Lambs (favorite movie of all time)

Righthanded or left handed:  right

Siblings:  Brian and Eric

Time you wake up:  the alarm is set for 8am…sometime after that (I am the late shift, after all)

Underwear:  boxers and boxer briefs

Veggie you most like and dislike:  potatoes…and I’ve never met a veggie I didn’t really like (or grown to love)

Ways you cope with stress:  You don’t really want to know!

X-ray vision (have you ever predicted the future correctly?):  not in recent memory

Zoo you like best:  my classroom when students are working together. 

February has passed quickly for me.  the bird class certainly helped; my birthday party, complete with a visit from Olivia, was great; i got plenty of attention for my birthday, which always makes me happy. 

but i’m never sorry to see February end.  Now the days are longer, the birds are singing loudly, and i can start gardening again.  i start to feel like “i’ve made it” (shew, stop and take a breath) go on. 

now for March, with its allure of spring.  40-degree temperatures seem tropical.   spring flowers spring, despite the temperatures…. the meteorological start of spring is march 1 and they have no clue what a solar calendar is.  here at sonnystone we check the  weather channel and count the days, however, so these 20-degree lows can be daunting.  it’s okay.  in like a lion, out like a lamb…that’s March.   

appropos to the season of lent, i am in a state of preparation:  WDW here we come!!!  my original goal/resolution for march was to enjoy a spring break vacation as fun as last year’s and i’m well on my way….

my birthdays are like a scheduled breakdown….my life flashes before my eyes and i think thoughts that are profoundly deep deep down.  it used to take a week or so before i could break through the funk, but these days i’ve pared down the drama.  however, my self-obsession took up most of last night and i didn’t have a chance to prepare an interview.  i have a couple in the works, but they’re not ready. 

so to keep you occupied i have decided to interview myself…..this is real time, kids.  i’m going to answer the questionaire even as we speak.  but first, let me introduce myself:

I was born yesterday 57 years ago in Fairfield, IL, the third child of Bob and Ruby Mayne.  I was welcomed by my brother, Rick (who I always called Brother), 5 years old, and my sister, Donna (who I always called Donna) , 17 months.  We lived in Albion, IL till I was 3, then we moved to Gary, IN.  We moved to Evansville, IN when I was 7 and it’s my hometown; there was a brief sojourn to Santa Maria, CA when I was 14, but let’s not talk about that.  I graduated from Harrison High School in 1971 and started nursing school at Deaconess Hospital School of Nursing.  We wore blue-checked below-the-knee pinafores with white stockings, clinic shoes,  and caps bobby-pinned precariously atop hair that had to be above the neck and not in our face. I didn’t last long in that environment given I was more prone to hot pants and no bra–and the farrah fawcett layers were not conducive to an upsweep; I left in 1973.  Due to a long run of bad decisions, I married Bill (Beaver) Bass in May, 1974; we had a daughter, Melissa Beth, in December that same year.  We divorced (the last time) in April, 1977.  I worked as a waitress at a club here in Evansville and the late 70’s were a disco daze.  I married Mike Casey on August 15, 1980 and finally settled down.   We bought our first house just before our son, Michael, was born in September 1981.  We moved over to Harmon Court in 1986 and lived there for 18 years.  During those years, I went to USI and earned an Associate of Nursing degree (1991) and started working as a nurse.  My kids grew up, went off to college and never came back.  People started dying.  Dad died in 1997; Mom died in 2002.  We bought a falling-down house on 4 acres in 2003 and named it Sonnystone Acres, after our cat, Sonny, and the giant “S” on the chimney.  I have been faithfully blogging since 2004, making my life an open book–but there’s so much more… I am currently working 20 hours/week as a school nurse, but I really want to be a writer when I grow up.  Could you tell?  

Age:  57

Bed size:  full — with a fan nearby

Chore you hate:  cleaning the toilet, followed by dusting

Essential “start your day” item:  coffee

Favorite color:  red

Gold or Silver?  gold

Height:  5′1″

Instrument you play:  piano, guitar, autoharp, dulcimer, percussion of any type, kazoo

Job Title:  Registered Nurse, PH Middle School

Kids:  Melissa and Michael  (can I mention Emma and Olivia?)

Living arrangements:  husband, cat, big yellow house

Mom’s name:  Ruby

Nicknames:  Bug, Elf, Tina, Doe Tina,

Overnight hospital stay (other than childbirth):  kidney infection, sometime in the 80’s; hysterectomy, 1988. 

Pet Peeves:   people who invade my personal space–and sometimes my personal space is an acre or so. 

Quote from a movie: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.  Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind

Right handed or left handed:  right

Siblings:  Rick and Donna

Time you wake up:  6am.  I get out of bed about 6:30.

Underwear:  yes

Veggie you like and dislike:  I have never met a vegetable I didn’t like. 

Ways you cope with stress:  You don’t want to know…

X-ray vision (have you ever predicted the future correctly?):  not very Far into the future, but yes.

Zoo you like best:  I’ll go with Mesker Park Zoo, but I haven’t seen any others lately. 

cat & bird, originally uploaded by rightbug?.

we’ve had 2 beautiful days of 50-degree temps and plenty of sunshine. i’ve been outside checking out the dream-garden, using bricks to outline the area i want to till and plant. the last night of my bird class was thursday and the lecture included a lot of birdscaping, birdhouse-building, and ideas for water features, so i have been enthusiastically planning. it was an unexpected treat to be able to be outside — comfortably — and see all of the small green sprouts of the perennials, hear the birds singing about love and nesting, confirming my hope that spring will be here in 4 weeks…..

and i’ll be in walt disney world…YAY!

as you can tell, everyone here is a birder…even wink. he quickly identified this black-capped chickadee and added it to his backyard bird count. and the cat shall lie down with the bird. Peace.

allison carr rugani, originally uploaded by rightbug?.

Ali’s eyes are a shade of blue that causes a lot of red-eye; I could only correct one eye, not sure why…..

Allison Lynn Carr was born April 25, 1977, second daughter of my sister Donna and the ever-bubbly Leonard.  I wanted Donna to name her Lindsay, only spell it like Lennzee or Lensee or something catchy like that; later, Ali changed her middle name to “len” after her dad…if they’d only listened to me.  So technically, she is Allison Len Rugani, now; married with 3 boys, a career as a speech therapist, and an active church life.  But she started out as Ali, a little scamp who was always into something, usually with a couple of friends in tow.  She had some speech problems in her early years and I think that made her want to pursue her education in speech-language pathology and I’m sure it has made her a patient and understanding practitioner.  She earned her undergraduate degree at IU in 1999 and married the Love of her Life, Jason Rugani, that same year.  She and Jason had dated since, what? Ali’s sophomore year?, but there were times when we wondered…..Ali got her Masters Degree in SLP in 2001, living up in Indy during those years.  She and Jason returned to Evansville after her graduation and they started right in having boys.  It was Ali who referred me to a temporary nurse job at Joshua Academy, piquing my interest in school nursing.  I think I thank her (most days).  Ali is a great mom, a loyal friend, and I love giving her health advice, even if she doesn’t always take it.  She answered the generic questionaire, but left a blank.  I had to fill a part in, but she was warned that editors have this option.   

Age:  32 

Bed size:  queen

Chore you hate:  cleaning the shower/tub

Dog’s name:  Casity “Casi”

Essential “start  your day” item:  coffee with flavored creamer

Favorite color:  purple

Gold or silver?  silver

Height:  5′3″

Instrument you play:  prefer to sing–used to play clarinet, but didn’t like the wood reed you had to put in your mouth.  (quirky, I know)

Job title:  Speech/Language Pathologist

Kids:  Benjamin Andrew, Noah James, Samuel Len

Living arrangements:  house

Mom’s name:  Donna

Nicknames:  Ali

Overnight hospital stay (other than childbirth):  none

Pet peeves:  people who feel sorry for themselves; people who drive in the passing lane; “close talkers”; bad smells

Quote from a movie:  Ali could not provide an answer, so I chose for her a quote from the movie “Cars” because I know she’s Very Familiar with it:  Mater:  My name is Mater.  Lightning McQueen:  Mater?  Mater: Yeah, like Tuh-mater, only without the “tuh”. 

Right (handed) or left (handed);  right

Siblings:  Lauren Kathleen Bell

Time you wake up:  7am

Underwear:  bikini

Veggie you most like and dislike:  dislike: overcooked broccoli; like:  onion

Ways you cope with stress:  take a hot bath with a good book

X-ray vision (have you ever predicted the future correctely?)  only when people make stupid choices and I can predict the future consequences.

Zoo you like best:  St. Louis